In a weird turn of events, the 9th-string Labor bloke that took over the party leadership after their shock 2019 election loss is now the Prime Minister, sort of.

This comes as the Leader of the Opposition decided to not go to Hawaii for 8 days in the middle of the most sobering developments of this summer’s bushfire crisis, and has kind of just been on the news every day providing a terrified nation with minute by minute updates of evacuation protocol and services that they might be able to access.

On top of leading the charge on getting Parliament to help with providing renumeration packages to RFS volunteers, and helping out with logistical tasks at emergency centres, Anthony Albanese MP is also not forcing bushfires victims to shake his hand and then bailing in a 4WD Beamer when he gets confronted about how the government is doing fuck all.

Some say Albanese’s seamless transition into the unofficial role of Prime Minister might have a bit to do with the fact that he doesn’t really have to worry about also fluffing a backbench of climate change denying thermal coal mining lobby whores in order to keep his job as party leader.

Others say it might be because he has spent a fair bit of time in politics and was mentored by people like Bob Hawke and Tommy Uren, rather than Hillsong pastors and low-rent marketing professionals.

Currently, It is a race against the clock to evacuate people on the NSW South Coast within an area equivalent to twice the size of the island of Bali, while the Blue Mountains and Hunter Valley continue fighting the megablaze that has been worsening for weeks.

Tasmania, Victoria and South Australia are also suffering with hundreds of out of control fires and emergency evacuations from Mallacoota to the Adelaide Hills ahead of worse conditions expected this weekend.

Since late October, thousands of properties have been overcome by the climate change aided bushfires tearing across the nation and nearly 30 people have lost their lives either fighting or fleeing the catastrophic flames.

Through not showing his face, and in fact disappearing to Hawaii for an unannounced resort holiday during the last heatwave, Scotty From Marketing has attracted criticism since the start of the bushfire season.

The bipartisan criticism of Morrison comes despite Sky News and the Murdoch newspapers continued praise the selfless Morrison for his heroics during the unprecedented, three-month-long national disaster.

Unlike Morrison, Albanese has avoided any criticism for any lacklustre crisis management skills with many political analysts pointing to the fact that he is acknowledging that this is, indeed, a crisis.

Bob Katter has replaced Michael McCormack as the Deputy Prime Minister, because he actually represents the bush, and seems to be doing more in the back of Mount Isa than old mate down in the Riverina telling us to stop blaming the cause of the fires for causing these fires.


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