Government Appalled To Find Prime Grazing Land Without Any Solar Panels On It

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The NSW State Government is set to pay close to $5000/ac for some prime grazing land in the state's Central West this week after it was discovered by satellite audit to not contain any solar panels.

A spokesperson from the Department of Planning, Agriculture and Other Things of Zero Value told The Advocate today that the disturbing discovery happened last Friday near Spicers Creek, between Wellington and Gulgong, where government auditors found a parcel of high-value land with food growing on it.

This morning local time, an offer of $4850/ha was forwarded to the landowner, who decided to take the offer. The price represented a 150 per cent mark up on what the market value is rumoured to be.

"This outlaying of millions now will contribute to our energy stability in the future," said the spokesperson.

"Over the past 20 years, the state's needs have changed a great deal. Since 2001, we have seen over 4000 new supermarkets be built around the nation. Over 1500 of those in NSW alone. So the average resident of this state has much better access to food now that before, so using this lovely dark browny-red loam country out the back of Wellington for growing, you know, cash crops to grazing livestock, is a largely outdated use of countryside. People can just buy their food from a supermarket now,"

"While some in the area argue that, you know, perhaps using some run out goat country west of Mount Hope could've been a better idea, but if we have all the solar panels near Mudgee, Orange and Tamworth, it's much easier to get public servants up there to keep an eye on them. Cheese, wine, bit of box ticking at work, getting your chin punched off at the Woolpack for making fun of the wrong bloke's back-to-front Fox Racing flatcap. If we put the panels out in the desert, how would we be able to get people to live out there to work on them? You see the silliness of the simple rural hick's arguement, can't you?"

The Advocate spoke briefly to the landowner, who said it feels like they've won Powerball. They are planning a move to Woolgoolga in the New Year.

More to come.