GoGet First Timer Feeling Like A Secret Agent Activating Keyless Kia Picanto

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A sheltered white boy with a boring desk job is experiencing a short thrill today after getting to unlock a vehicle via his mobile device.

After acquiring the keys to a new one bedroom dog box apartment this week, it’s understood 35 year old Kevin Marksman has today decided to give GoGet a go, and hire a Kia Picanto to move a box of bathroom towels and his kitchen utensils into his new abode.

As an inner city chode, who spends 99% of his travel time either on foot or on the Betoota tram network, Kevin has never truly considered the idea of buying a car, and is usually just happy to skimp lifts from his mates.

But now that he’s got some tasks to achieve that rely on his own free will, today Kevin was forced to locate “Petra The Picanto” a few streets from his house, and follow the online steps to activate the vehicle.

Calling up the number posted online, Kevin instantly felt like James Bond unlocking a fingerprint protected Aston Martin Valhalla, as he whispered his name and booking confirmation into his phone.

“Uhhh hello, this is Kevin. Booking number YXH-42Q”, Kevin hushed into his phone, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one else was around to steal his booking.

Acutely listening to some prompts coming through his phone by a call centre worker who he had a hunch may actually be AI, Kevin continued on in his quest to unlock access to the 1.3L petrol engine that was going to transport some tea towels across town.

“KIA PIC-CANTO!” he continued to scream hush into his phone, “PIC-CANTO FOR KEVIN”.

“I’m sorry Kia,” the soulless voice from the call centre drawled back, “pPlease repeat your car make and model and booking number again, then press hash.”

“No, my name is Kevin! The car is a KIA,” hushed Kev, “PIC-CANTO FOR KEVIN. KIA PIC-CANTO FOR KEVIN!!!”
More to come.