Experts Estimate Melburnians Lose 9.5 Hours Each Weekend Queuing For Useless Bakeries And Sample Sales

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

A new report emerging from Betoota University has found the average Melburnian spends approximately 9.5 hours of their weekend queuing up for various services. 

Though the findings support initial hypotheses, head researcher Dr Colin Wood-Lewn says the team failed to ascertain the exact reason behind the queuing. 

“It’s very interesting. It’s really not just limited to one sort of service, and I think that’s why we’re struggling,”

“You have people lining up for croissants, hundreds for sushi on any given day, sample sales on the weekend,”

“And the temperature isn’t even a dependent variable. There was no correlation between weather and the amount of people. It’s just unlike anything I’ve ever seen, in research and in my personal life,”

Melanie Pietre, a 23 year old BU student who spent last weekend visiting the city, was particularly shocked by the phenomenon. 

“I just don’t get it. Like yes, TikTok and all that probably has got something to do with it, but it doesn’t seem like it’s all just based on that. I don’t know,”

And Dr Wood-Lewn says she’s right. 

“It’s definitely not just a social media thing, this trend was observable even before it was at the level it’s at now,”

“For now, our hypothesis speculates that Melburnians must feel a real sense of community from the activity or something, there’s no professional term, but some would certainly say ‘sheep’ fits.”

More to come.