Eastern States Plot Revenge On Covid Free WA By Directing Hantavirus Contacts To Perth

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

East Coast officials may pull off what experts are calling the ‘revenge of the century’ as Australian travellers on board the MV Hondius prepare to return home this week. 

The 146 travellers will disembark in the Canary Islands, where four Australian citizens along with one New Zealand citizen will then board a charter flight to Perth. 

From there, the five plan to enter a biocontainment facility in New South Wales. 

Though government spokesperson Rupert Dempsey says this isn’t quite the case. 

According to him, the state learned their lesson during COVID when the Ruby Princess cruise docked at Circular Quay and quickly became the largest source of infection. 

 “No fucking wayyyyy will we be letting them anywhere near here,” he said. 

“We just said that cause it’s the only way we could get them to stay in Perth, by just calling it a layover or whatever,” 

“But nah. It’s time they get a taste of what we were dealing with during COVID. Fortress WA fuckers who only locked down for like a week all up,”

According to Dempsey, New South Wales doesn’t even have a biocontainment facility. 

“Yeah, we kind of just said that part too, ha ha,”

“You know when you tell one lie and then you can’t stop and you just make up this full story, yeah that's basically what happened,”

What quarantine measures Perth has in place at this point remain unclear. 

More to come.