“Early One Tonight!” Declares Nan With Packed Day Of Brunch And An Afternoon Walk Tomorrow

JONTY SPEEDMAN | Culture | CONTACT

Nan has made the appropriate decision to call it a night earlier than usual this evening, with the reason being her marathon day planned for tomorrow.

Reports indicate that she has organised a brunch to catch up with some old school friends for the morning, and to make matters even more challenging, she has lined herself up for a nice gentle afternoon stroll along the beach.

After her retirement into bed at 8pm, the 68-year-old allegedly set her alarm for 6am sharp, giving her enough time for coffee and 4 hours of television and newspaper browsing before heading down to the local cafe for a lovely slice of avocado toast and a chai latte.

“I haven’t seen these girls in at least 5 years, I’ve got to at least present myself like someone who has her head on straight," she stated.

“There’s just no need to stay up late like these young people. I mean what could you possibly be up to past 9pm on a Tuesday night for Christ’s sake?”

Her aforementioned afternoon beachwalk will be in the company of her husband of 39 years, who reckons the sand is good for his “never-ending joint pain”.

Pop also gave commentary on his wife’s premature hay-hitting, admitting he wouldn’t mind watching something other than whatever reality TV show she’s on now or Cameron Diaz movies from the 2000s.

“All my mates have watched this Breaking Bad show and talk about it all the time!” the 74-year-old explains.

Sources confirm Nan was asleep 9 minutes after making the declaration, with a thoroughly restful 10 hours to follow.