Corporate Robot Gets A High Fade And Starts Wearing Versace Cologne After Enlightening El Jannah Experience

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A relatively once plain and uninteresting Melbourne finance worker has today arrived at work with a very different aesthetic.

Emerging from the lift with a slightly more lairy suit, a flashy gold watch and a faded haircut - colleagues say that almost didn’t recognise Hamish Ellerton (42) when he swaggered into the office this morning.

His usual sloppy bacon and egg brekky roll also seems to have been swapped out for a bright purple acai bowl with fruit salad.

However, the most distinguished changes in Hamish’s presentation had very little to do with his aesthetic, as the waft of Oud-scented cologne filtered through the building.

It is understood that Hamish now has a penchant for Versace Pour Homme Oud Noir, a brand of cologne most readily associated with well-groomed Mediterranean men.

Colleagues say that if Hamish was not happily married with kids, they would have just assumed he had fallen for a Lebanese girl.

However, while he is indeed not an adulterer - this doesn’t mean he hasn’t fallen in love with Lebanese culture.

His deskmate, Zara, seems to think she knows what’s going on.

“We all went out for lunch together on Friday” she says.

“Hamish had never had charcoal chicken before”

According to Zara, her formerly introverted and reserved white collar coworker was convinced togive El Jannah a try.

“We talked him out of his usual salmon poke bowl” she says.

Within minutes, it is believed that Hamish was undergoing a cultural transformation when his lips touched El Jannah’s holy Legendary Lebanese Lunch trinity of a $14 Chicken roll, chips and a Pepsi MAX.

“The garlic sauce was a game changer and those perfectly fried chips. It was like he discovered a new colour, and don’t even get him started on the freshness of the salad and that sweet sweet Lebanese Bread”

“We could all see it happening in real time. He was obsessed with it”

Within minutes of returning back to the office, Hamish Ellerton had become Hamish El Masri.

“Next thing you know, he’s taking his wife out for shisha on Sunday night and researching spearfishing hot spots to take his new jet ski"

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