LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Nothing like some summer fun!
As the springtime sun warms us without the deadly wrath of a climate-change-exacerbated summer sun the one and only place to be is the beach.
The loosening of restrictions is calling all Australians to get loose by the sea including the nation’s newest, and most controversial resident, COVID-19.
Upon arriving at a crowded beach with a mate who has a sore throat but it’s no big deal, Rona was sure to slip, slop & slap before beginning a fruitful day of making new friends.
“What an absolute bloody day for it,” stated Rona as he watched a group of strangers place their towels on the sand within 1.5 metres of each other.
“Oh no, I forgot my facemask. Haha!”
Treated with the same initial Australian brand of apprehension as any new arrival from China, Rona claims that he is now just a part of Australian life that we’d rather not think about like how Crocodile Dundee pays fuck all tax and that Dutton will probably one day be PM.
Acknowledging he is part of the constant stress of living in the year 2020, Rona reckons a trip to a crowded beach is a great way to relieve stress for around four hours, before tucking into four months of lockdown because the beach was just too enticing.
“If I have as big a day as I’m planning to have here, it will be the last one for fucking yonks!”