WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The nation has today kicked off a big environmental day in style!
With the International Day of Forests rolling around, Australia has looked to celebrate the occasion in trademark fashion.
With native forest logging still taking place across the Eastern Seaboard and Tassy, Australia is getting into the spirit of the day by seeing if national icon Blinky Bill can still outrun a bulldozer and wood chipper.
“We think it’s the perfect way to celebrate the day,” said a spokesperson for the timber industry.
“People LOVE nostalgia right?”
“It’s such an on trend thing at the moment, so we figure we bring back that cute little guy and his buddies to see if he’s still got it in him.”
When asked about the age of Blinky, and the likelihood of bad backs and dodgy knees, the industry spokesperson laughed.
“Mate, don’t get caught up in the details,” said the bloke who speaks for an industry where government funded organisations like the Forestry Corporation of NSW lose $29 million a year keeping afloat its Hardwood Division which logs native forests.
“Like we log the fuck out of native forests on the government dime to produce a stack of low grade timber product such as woodchips. and nothing seems to get done about it.”
“We just label anyone who opposes it ‘greenies,’ and it’s fine – even those noted ‘greenies’ in WA who have already banned it.”
“Even the people who live around the native forests, who are off it” he laughed.
“But we’ll keep flogging the joint as long as the government lets us.”
“Anyway, I’m getting distracted. Let’s just focus on the good stuff like the return of Blinky and Wombo in 2025!”
“How good’s that?”
More to come.
