Swans Fan Thrilled 4pm Game Comes With Perfect Lighting For Social Content
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT An eastern suburbs micro influencer has been spotted skipping down Moore Park Road today,
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Treasurer To Spend Entire Budget Speech Explaining How His Party Weren’t In Power For Last Decade
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The nation’s treasurer has today offered The Betoota Advocate some exclusive insight into what he
Former Pinger Rat Now At Stage Where He Has To Explain To Kids Why They’re Named Kygo And Tiësto
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A former party boy has been forced to have an honest chat this morning,
Nan Reveals She’s Totally Prepared For Cost Of Living Crisis After Decades Of Black And Gold
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In an era where inflation has somehow become a competitive sport, some Australians are well prepared
Fleet Of Japanese Ships Undertake Urgent Research Trip To Tasmania
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT An armada of Japanese ships has reportedly been spotted making a beeline for the Tasmanian coast
Weirdly Honest Politician Admits ‘Labour Shortage’ Is Just Slang For ‘Cheaper Migrant Labour Shortage’
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact There is a dire shortage of labour and skills in Australia, the government and big business
“Oi! Can You Not Eat Food In My [1997 Subaru Impreza], Dickhead”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local 17-year-old car owner has today made it clear that as the owner
Review Of Hawthorn Finds The AFL Club Was Run By A Bunch Of Racist Melbourne Cunts
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The AFL has once again reminded the nation how fucked in the head their culture and
Local Geography Teacher Thrilled To Learn Trusty New Balance Wheels Now A Boost To His Street Cred
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local geography teacher is strutting home from school with a skip in his
Albo: “Not A Big Deal Or Anything, But A Few Springies Wouldn’t Have Gone Astray”
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has today given an update from the other side of the
New Mum Who Carried Baby For 9 Months Settles On ‘Fergus’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The word is out amongst millenials and having kids is officially cool, provided you give them
Recently Dumped Bloke Fails To Heal Crippling Heartbreak With New Found NFL Fandom
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local bloke is looking to mend a broken heart this week as he
IT Guy At Work Begins Two Week Mourning Period Following Discontinuation Of Lift
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As a black veil continues to hang heavy over the head of monarchists, others are dealing