Bloke Shocked And Concerned That He Can Now Buy Cocaine AND Black Market Smokes In His Once Sleepy Hometown
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A city-based professional has returned home this week to find that his old
Argentina’s Return To News Cycle Triggers Boyfriend To Take Another Wikipedia Deep Dive On Falklands War
2 min read
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local woman Hunter Greste (27) hadn’t lived with a boyfriend before moving into her new one bedroom apartment.
Her boyfriend, Dimmy (28), is a dream to cohabitate with.
But there is one troubling personality trait that Hunter is going to have to get used to. Because it's a boy thing.
Dimmy must know about every single thing that has happened in the history world. And with the invention of smart phones, he now has the means to do this.
Now with, Argentina back in the news cycle ahead of the 2026 FIFA World Cup semi-finals, Dimmy has returned to a well worn path.
The Falklands War Wikipedia page.
Last night, as Hunter was glued to the TV, that she was certain they were both watching – it became clear that Dimmy was deep in Wikipedia again.
He’s not reading about anything remotely relevant to what is happening in the living room of his apartment at 9pm on a weeknight.
“What are you reading about?” asks Hunter, before Dimmy sheepishly puts his phone down.
“I don’t care. I’m just interested” she says.
Hunter has made a fatal error by insinuating that she was interested.
“Did you know the Falklands war was the only time in military history that a Nuclear Submarine has a sunk another ship in combat”
“The submarine was the HMAS Conquerer. The British obviously. They had far more fire power.”
“The ship that sunk was the called Belgrano, originally a U.S. Navy cruiser commissioned in 1938 as the USS Phoenix. Can you believe this poor thing had survived the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour and all that fighting in the Pacific Theatre, only to be sold to Argentina in 1951 and sunk by an underwater vessel that hadn’t even been invented it changed hands from the allies”
Hunter is both blown away, disappointed and unsurprised at the same time.
“What!?” she says.
Dimmy takes this as a request for more information
“332 Argentines drowned. Most of them were conscripts.”
When asked how the fuck he found himself researching this niche two-month conflict over disputed territories in 1982, Dimmy says it's kind of happening again with the England vs Argentina semi final on Thursday.