Albo To Let Sportsbet Use The New Nationwide AusAlert System Just For Today

KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact

Australians have been warned to keep a close eye on their phones today, as the government announces plans to deploy the Nationwide AusAlert System.

However, instead of receiving potentially life saving messages about floods, cyclones or terror attacks, it’s believed every Aussies phone will ping and vibrate with details of an “Up Up The Cup” bonus bet offer from Sportsbet.

The news comes as Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has reportedly caved into the requests of Sportsbet, and their highly paid gambling lobbyists, who’ve begged Albo to use the AusAlert system to contact every Australian about the Melbourne Cup.

Designed to act as a key part of Australia’s public emergency warning ecosystem, AusAlert is a phone alert technology that aims to reach every Australian during local emergencies and natural disasters.

But after being taken out for a chinese banquet at Sammy’s at The Foreshore in Kingston, The Advocate can report that Prime Minister Albanese has decided that Sportsbet is allowed to have a crack at offering every Aussie with a sim card $25 worth in bonus bets for today’s races.

Speaking to press from the Birdcage down in Flemington, Prime Minister Albanese says he’s just hoping to maximise tax payer money, for the benefit of tax avoiding multinational betting agencies.

“The government has spent upwards of $132 million developing the AusAlert system, and it’s an important part of our nation’s digital infrastructure,” said Albanese.

“However, after close consultation with Responsible Wagering Australia, we’ve decided that for today only, SportsBet are allowed to send every phone a bunch of Melbourne Cup odds.”

Despite facing significant backlash from gambling help organisations and mental health charities, Albanese says today’s little ditty on AusAlert is just “a bitta fun” and won’t be repeated again, for a while.

“We know millions of Aussies don't want to be contacted by these betting agencies, but today is about bringing the nation together.”

“I am also in talks with the NRL about using AusAlert to send out first tryscorer odds. Might start with Origin, and then see how we go!”