Albo And Angus Torn Between Protecting Basic Copyright Law Or Selling Us Out The Same Mob That Hacked Medicare For Fucken Nothing

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister and Angus Taylor have been meeting this month to nut out a plan to protect Australian copyright holders without making things difficult for the American tech giants who want all their stuff.

It's a difficult balance, Anthony Albanese admitted during our bi-weekly public relations strategy call with the Prime Minister’s Office this morning, but one he felt could be struck with help from the well-built country boy opposite him in the chamber.

"We need to work together on this to make sure we get the best outcomes for the nation," he said.

"I know copyright holders are worried we're going to let American tech giants steal all their work to train algorithms and whatnot. But rest assured that if we do, we'll let them do it for fuck all."

"It's not like writing a book is that hard. Most of the people doing it have got another job."

Angus joined the call, putting out his sixth Peter Stuyvesant Filter of the morning.

"Yeah, g'day. Just to add to that, we’d be turning down huge investment. We're talking billions here."

"Not for the authors, obviously. But billions, you know, for us, the government."

Taylor coughed something onto the prime ministerial carpet and worked it in with the sole of his Hush Puppy.

"These companies are ready to invest in Australia. If we're seen to be difficult, they'll just go elsewhere. And we can't have that, can we?"

"If the price is letting these robots learn how to write The Narrow Road to the Deep North or The Solid Mandala, then call me Captain Fukuhara because it's getting handballed into the scan bin. Then getting pulped."

"In the future, we could have AI create a Bluey version of Narrow Road. To help kids get into reading. Who doesn’t want that?"

Albanese then declared it was time for lunch.

More to come.