“Ahhhh That Explains It” Says Woman Attempting To Blame Recent String Of Extremely Toxic Behaviours On The Full Moon

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

Local woman Ally Moore was this week rather pleased to learn that she’s not to blame for her recent questionable behaviour.

After getting home from a long day at work, Ally decided to pour herself a glass of red, which she doesn’t usually do on Mondays, and head out onto the balcony. 

Placing her wine down on the balustrade, she crossed her dressing gown tight around her body and gazed out at the night sky.

As her mind started to wonder elsewhere, namely how the neighbours were probably watching her have this iconic main character moment and thinking ‘what a gal’, she noticed the moon in its fully illuminated phase. 

“Ahhhhhh,” she said, reaching for her wine and taking a long sip. 

“That makes sense.”

“This is why I called my ex last night.”

“OMG, and I guess why I had the random urge to go through my situationships phone on Saturday,”

“That also could be why I uploaded that fucked pic of Bethany on my story after she accidentally knocked my marg,”

“Yep wow this makes so much sense. Like I’m not fully spiritual so I don’t know what it means exactly and everything,”

“But I just know it fucks with you. I can never sleep during a full moon.”

“I need to get an app that tells me these things so I don’t feel as bad next time!”