A local woman has found a way to commune with her ancient Hunter-Gatherer roots — browsing Deliveroo while on the treadmill. 

“It makes me feel so alive,” Kat, 27, told reporters. “It’s like, primitive. Instinctual.”

It’s only after she’s got a good pace going and has broken a sweat that she allows herself to open the app and start thinking about what she wants to order in for dinner.

In a modern world so far removed from our ancestral hunter-gatherer roots, this young woman has found a way to return to a simpler time, a time when you had to out-run and hunt down your Chicken Tikka Masala. 

“It’s the way it was done for thousands of years. It’s the way it was meant to be done.” Kat told reporters as she finished her workout.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go browse Tinder on the toilet.”


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