7 Things That Pauline Hanson Will Be Awesome At When She Becomes Prime Minister

7 Things That Pauline Hanson Will Be Awesome At When She Becomes Prime Minister

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With the media working itself into a frenzy over a string of polls before we've even reached the middle of an election cycle, speculation is mounting that we could have someone new in the top job!

The polls have created so much buzz that the leader of One Nation is now considering running in the lower house, in order to make herself able to take over the reins of the country.

With that change now looking likely,The Advocate has decided to compile a list of things our next Prime Minister is gonna be awesome at!

  1. Negotiating Deals With Our Major Asian Trade Partners

Now look, the naysayers like to carry on about Pauline not being up to the job of running the country. But, when you think about things like trade deals with our largest regional partners, who else would you want to be pushing our case?

Forget Scott Morrison, Pauline would be the greatest at dealing with our largest trading partner China - who definitely won't completely kneecap our trade because our leader said something that offended them.

  1. Attending Parliament More Than 50% Of The Time

How could she be in worse than the current bloke! Mr Air Albo. I mean, let's not let the stats of an 85-90% parliamentary attendance rate get in the way of a good story - Albo's bloody always jetsetting somewhere!

Not Pauline though, if she was given the top job she'd actually relish the opportunity to turn up to work more than 50% of the time - like she currently does.

  1. Making Sure Our Passports Get Processed

Unlike the United Kingdom or America, a populist right wing leader who antagonises other countries definitely won't affect our global standing.

Under Pauline all of the fancy headline grabbing stuff like administration and geopolitical diplomacy would be completely and utterly taken care of, with no effort to strip back the public service in a populist attempt to look like she doesn't waste tax payer dollars.

  1. Ensuring We Get A Fair Share For Our Resources From Billionaires Like Gina Rinehart

Talk about the only leader who's actually promised to get a fair return for our resources! I mean the Greens and Independents have been banging on about it for ages, but like seriously yawn.

Pauline is the only one who is actually serious about it, by make sure we take equity (ie socialise the losses) in new projects that may never be profitable by the time they are up and running, instead of taxing current projects ripping Aussie resources out of the ground and seabed and paying fuck all for the right to do so!

  1. Holding Major Corporations Accountable For Poisoning Regional Australian Communities With Toxic Fire Retardants

This comes as the Federal Government filed proceedings against the American multinational chemicals conglomerate 3M Company over the dangerous cancer-causing forever chemicals found in firefighting foams used on defence sites for decades.

Attorney-General Michelle Rowland stressed that this case was “the largest legal claim ever brought by the Commonwealth” - as the Australian government runs the risk of making very powerful enemies out of a number of billionaire American industrialists who are known to be close with the Trump Administration.

  1. Cooking Steak On Things Not Designed For It

Imagine the things Pauline could cook a steak on if she made it to the lodge! And imagine the awesome dinners with Barnaby where both of them prove they are salt of the earth by cooking an honest donga meal after a big day of flying around in Gina Rineheart's jet.

Certainly would make a nice return to the Scotty 'Cuzza' Era.

  1. Keeping A United Party Room Focused On Good Policy

Finally, the thing that Pauline would be best at, is keeping a united party room focused on improving the lives of Australian people.

Imagine Pauline with a team of 80 politicians under her sway. Definitely wouldn't be any issues with any crazy party members who say and do hectic shit. That would be one cohesive unit without a single criminal charge amongst it.

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