ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The nation is in mourning after its largest and most populous city passed away this afternoon surrounded by family and friends.
Announced via a family spokesman, the news comes as a shock to many as the city showed signs of recovery after the controversial lockout laws almost claimed its life in 2014.
However, it seems the life was once again sucked out of it after naming a new ferry after a popular 2016 meme.
The Prime Minister addressed the passing of his hometown during Question Time in Canberra just a short time ago.
“Over two hundred years of trials and tribulations have failed to mortally wound Sydney. From the earliest years of the colony, right up to the controversial lockout laws. Nothing has been able to kill our first city,” said Malcolm Turnbull.
“Until now. It seems naming a new ferry ‘Ferry McFerryface’ epitomises everything that is wrong with Sydney, which ultimately proved to be the straw that broke the Port Jackson shark’s back,”
“Vale Sydney, you will be missed by all except those who hated you. Which is everyone that’s visited you in recent years. May you finally be at peace.”
A requiem mass for the city will be held in each major capital city later this week. Check local newspapers for the venue and time.
More to come.