“Can’t We Just Shoot Them?” Asks Dutton

"Mate, get on WickR if you want to ask me hectic questions like that one"

“Can’t We Just Shoot Them?” Asks Dutton

18 May, 2016 17:45


PRIME MINISTER MALCOLM TURNBULL has been forced to ask Immigration Minister Peter Dutton to ‘take it easy’ for the remaining forty-five days of the pre-election campaign.

This news apparently comes after the Prime Minister took a distressing phone call this morning from the former-Brisbane Police Officer, who was still rattled by an interview he had with conservative Sky News interview Paul Murray last night.

The interview, which has since made headlines today, once again sees Dutton at the centre of controversy, after he decided to berate “illiterate and innumerate” refugees for both taking Australian jobs and at the same time, not getting jobs.

“They won’t be numerate or literate in their own language, let alone English,” Mr Dutton said.

“These people would be taking Australian jobs, there’s no question about that.

“For many of them that would be unemployed, they would languish in unemployment queues and on Medicare and the rest of it so there would be huge cost and there’s no sense in sugar-coating that, that’s the scenario.”

Political commentators have likened this bizarre monologue to the South Park WWE Episode where a large group of rednecks rally together to sporadically shout ‘Dey terk our jerbs’.

It was just after these comments came into the spotlight that the Prime Minister was forced to take one of the more uncomfortable phone calls of his time in office.

Luckily, The Betoota Advocate’s Darwin correspondent was nearby when our Prime Minister accidentally answered his mobile on speakerphone while on the campaign trail this morning.

Our journalists described how Turnbull developed a thin film of clammy sweat above his brow as he was asked by the Minister Of Immigration, “Can’t we just shoot them”.

“If you are asking me what I think you are asking me… No, Peter. No we definitely cannot” responded the the Prime Minister.

“In fact, I’m surrounded by media, mate. Get on WickR if you want to ask me hectic questions like that,”

“I don’t want to hear about this again. Can’t you go and bust someone smuggling cigarettes or something. That was very Abbott of you.”

Peter Dutton has refused to give comment today, but once again, he has outlined that he will not be blackmailed by human decency when it comes to the livelihood of stateless refugee families.


5 Responses to "“Can’t We Just Shoot Them?” Asks Dutton"

  1. Alistair Palk   May 18, 2016 at 11:12 pm

    I would let any one of the refugees and or your ‘so called “poofter cunts” live with me before i’d let you breathe near me Duka Muka. Learn how to accept others and you might not have such a miserable life. #Bringthemhere

    • Gary   May 19, 2016 at 1:21 pm

      Dutton should know better before asking questions as hectic as that. A lot of hectic stuff probably goes on if your job is Minister for Immigration, but no need to make it more hectic than it needs to be.

      Also agree with Alistair – nothing wrong with poofter cunts, so long as they don’t try it on after everyone’s had a few on a night out.

  2. #Truth   May 19, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    Alistair stop being a wingey faggot

    • Wayno   May 19, 2016 at 7:35 pm

      He’s actin’ a right tool.


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