TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

A naïve Julia Cummins has been confronted with an unsettling reality this morning after realising the 300,000 calories she consumed on holidays actually do count in the real world.

Julia had been operating under the assumption of ‘what you eat on holidays, stays on holidays’, but judging by the scales and her reflection, this simply is not the case.

“God damn it!” said a frustrated Julia.

“I mean, I knew eating 6 meals a day and drinking cocktails every night wouldn’t be good for me”

“But you just forget, you think you’re immune to getting chunky because you’re on holidays, I’m learning now that’s not the case”

After a month in America of treating herself, Julia reckons she’s back on the straight and narrow and ready to be healthy again.

“All I want to do is eat veggies and exercise”

“I never thought I’d crave a vegetable, but here we are.”

“I might put on some fake tan, you know what they say, if you can’t tone it, tan it!”


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