Investment Banker Surprisingly Not Up To Date With Who Can And Who Can't Get Centrelink Benefits

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Opposition Leader Angus Taylor used last night's budget reply speech to claim the federal government is funding welfare for non-citizens "as soon as they arrive on our soil," announcing a Coalition plan to restrict 17 welfare programs including JobSeeker, Youth Allowance and the NDIS to Australian citizens only.

"Many Australians would be surprised to learn that non-citizens are eligible for welfare in this country," Mr Taylor told parliament.

Services Australia's website states that newly arrived permanent residents must serve a four year waiting period before they can access JobSeeker, Youth Allowance, Austudy or Parenting Payment. The waiting period has been in place since 2019, when it was introduced by the Coalition government of the day. Asylum seekers are not eligible for any of those payments and depend largely on charitable organisations to meet basic needs while their claims are processed.

When this was put to Mr Taylor by this reporter this morning via wireless telephone, the Opposition Leader said the policy was about the principle of the thing.

"Mate, as your mate Kevin [Rudd] used to say, fair shake of the sauce bottle, please," said Taylor.

"You know, you can't expect me to know who can and who can't get welfare payments. That's what advisors are for, and you know that better than others, so I don't think the base of your question is very fair. And what do you expect me to do? Bottom line is, I actually don't give a fuck who gets money from Centrelink, it's not like these people are buying the dip in CSL and Xero, are they? They're putting every cent we give them back them. They have to spend everything to just survive, as an economist, that makes my Protestant nipples hard. But what do you want me to do?"

"Try and woo back Teal voters? I think that ship has sailed, just quietly. The only road back to power for us is taking on these orange lunatics. Even the billionaires have abandoned us. You guys [The Betoota Advocate Board and Editorial Executive] have abandoned us. It's a shame, you know. What's happened. You, a small business owner. Wrist spin bowler. Media high-roller. Not working with us, or even voting for us."

Our reporter corrected Mr Taylor and admitted to voting for Libertarian candidate for Maranoa Michael Offerdahl at the last election. He exhaled sharply.

"Christ alive. Who the fuck are they?"

When asked if he would be amending his policy so that's it's more rooted in the God's honest truth, Taylor said his budget reply is "off and gone, like a fart in the wind."

More to come.