ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Popular Chinese car maker, Great Wall, has set another ute loose on our nation’s roads this month after it received a paltry two-star ANCAP safety rating.

That puts the Great Wall Steed, known locally as the Beijing billycart, into the same category as the controversial Lime Scooters that have cracked skull after skull in our state’s hellish south-east corner.

Complete with asbestos drum brakes and steering that’s on par a horse-drawn cart, the Steed is the most reasonably-priced ute on the market right now.

However, it comes at a price.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning via telephone, Brett Cumonfeet from ANCAP said he was both shocked and entertained by the Steed’s crash tests.

“The footage of the crash test is hilarious and horrifying,” he laughed.

“It might be the cheapest ute you can buy at the moment but in the event of a crash, you will die,”

“You’re honestly going to be safer if you ride a Lime Scooter home from the pub after you’ve driven 13 schooners of heavy into yourself than driving home in a Steed completely sober,”

“Honest to God, I’d feel better about having a gram of ket blown up my ass with a straw then strapping on a pair of rollerblades than I would taking a Steed down the road to the shops.”

The Advocate reached out to the good people at Great Wall for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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