In some breaking news out of the Southern continent of Australia, it’s been confirmed today that the island nation is still under the impression that appealing to Peter Dutton’s conscience might actually pay off.

This comes after the nation’s Home Affairs Minister quadrupled down on his refusal to grant the Tamil family from Biloela permission to stay in the community that has openly voiced its desire to have them.

That refusal comes after noted left-wing activists like Alan Jones and Barnaby Joyce called for Dutton to use his sweeping powers to allow the young family to stay in the small regional Queensland town.

Those calls, and subsequent refusals from the man who held children in offshore detention in conditions that amounted to torture according to the UN, have lead to the confirmation that the nation somehow thinks calling on Peter Dutton to consult his moral compass might actually work in this scenario.

“I just thought that maybe, because the community love the family, the old man works at the meatworks doing honest work, and the two young girls deserve a good life, maybe Dutton might exercise some compassion,” explained a spokesperson for the nation down at the Lord Kidman Hotel in Betoota this afternoon.

“But, I guess when you ask Dutton to consider the plight of a brown family, his moral compass glitches out as if it were put on top of a magnet.”

“Maybe the good Christian Scott Morrison will step in.”


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