Uh Excuse Me Albo What The FUCK Is The "Journalism Assistance Fund" And WHY Didn't We Get Any Free Money?

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

OPINION

The Advocate's board and editorial executive have been mailed everything from sternly-worded letters to bullets this week after it came to light that the Albanese Government had dolled out nearly $70 million to newsrooms around the country.

Dozens of said letters accused us of receiving funds from the government's "Journalism Assistance Fund", which we would have gladly accepted. We expected that we would've been a shoe in for the money party, given we tick many of the boxes. Regional news media conglomerate, shocking balance sheet and being run by people who don't realise yet that dementia has it's little finger wrapped around their brain.

Whether it's a dereliction of executive duty to not even apply because the board didn't know about it, or applying in the future is a fait accompli. It doesn't really matter now. Looking through the recipients of the grant scheme, there are newspapers receiving funding that deserve it. From Bernie, to West Wyalong, Winton, the Top End, Kimberly et al, WA's weird but nice south west. Parts of South Australia outside Adelaide got funding. Victorians, who need it the most given the state of their politics down there, got some great funding.

But we have online news organisation geared towards dog grooming, caravanning, cottaging and youth-orientated Zoloft-soaked infotainment all receiving Albo's cash handball.

How much did they get? The minimum grant amount is $39,000 over three years and the maximum grant amount is $7.5 million over three years. The grant amount per eligible journalist is $13,000 full time per year, or $39,000 per eligible journalist over three years. How much could we have got if this centre-left totalitarian government had any fucking manners?

The Advocate employs 20 full-time journalists across newsrooms in Betoota and Dublin. The math is straightforward. Per year: 20 × $13,000 = $260,000. Over three years: 20 × $39,000 = $780,000.

If there are so-called online newspapers out there getting $13,000 a year to help fund a journalist that reviews their anonymous public toilet encounters, and we get nothing, tell me it makes sense.

If there has been an oversight, which is a very real possibility, our bank details are as follows:

The Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation Limited (HSBC Private Bank)
Address: 1 Queen's Road Central, Hong Kong
SWIFT/BIC: HSBCHKHHHKH
Account: 004-812-345678-838 (HKD)
ATTN: E H PARKER TRUST

We hope this is the case, and this bizarre snub was just a case of someone in the PMO forgetting to put us on the slush fund list.

More to come.