Trump's Peace Plan Proves As Effective As A Smiggle Eraser

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

Last week, Donald Trump and Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian signed a 14-point agreement to immediately end the war and reopen the Strait of Hormuz. 

Iran’s nuclear programme - which is the whole reason Trump says he started the war - will be subject to a 60 day period of discussion and negotiation, meaning the US is in more or less the same position they were in four months ago when attacks began. 

However, regarding the two countries' allies, the first point of the agreement promised the immediate termination of military operations in Lebanon. 

And although Israel and Hezbollah were both agreeable to a ceasefire, they haven't followed through, continuing to fire at each other over the weekend. 

Now, Trump has taken to social media and Fox News to threaten Iran with further military action if they don’t reign in Hezbollah, their most prominent proxy. 

He also said he’ll blow their country up if they don’t open the Strait of Hormuz. 

In the wake of these comments, political experts across the globe say the parallels between Trump's peace plan and the it-girl erasers of 2012 are impossible to ignore. 

“Both are useless on paper,” said Betoota University Associate Lecturer of Political Science, Dawson Smigglesworth.  

“At least with Smiggle erasers, just speaking on face value you know, they might be perceived as somewhat useful or effective,”

“Unfortunately after four months of conflict and repeated collapsed attempts, the same can no longer be said for Trump’s peace plans.”

Smiggle declined to comment on their products efficacy when contacted, though said they take ‘immense offence’ to the comparison. 

As officials from the two countries meet for talks in Switzerland this morning, the world reserves hope for a Faber-Castell dust-free approach in the coming days. 

More to come.