The Art Of The Deal: Trump Offers Iran $300 Billion To Take A Breather Before We Circle Back

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The deal maker President has struck diplomatic gold with a stroke of genius set to certainly restore peace to the region.

News from the most recent negotiations has revealed that the US is reportedly set to release $300Bn to get Iran to re-open the strait of Hormuz, which was open for free a couple months ago.

The war, which has resulted in civilian deaths on both sides, the deaths of American soldiers, the collapse of the Gulf states perceived security, a global energy crisis, the occupation of southern Lebanon and, arguably, the end of American hegemony in the region, has nevertheless been hailed as a massive victory by supporters of President Trump.

"This went exactly how he planned" said a very tired Trump defender. 

"He's always a few steps ahead"

The Trump supporter admitted that, while critics had pointed to the region being significantly less stable than before, they were overlooking the President's trademark negotiating style.

"You've got to spend hundreds of billions of dollars to get back to where you started. That's business."

He then dismissed suggestions that paying someone to undo a problem that didn't previously exist was a questionable strategy.

"No, see, now everyone knows we're serious. Before this, the Strait was just open because of geography. Now it's open because of leadership."

While Iranian leadership consolidates power and strengthens its legitimacy in the region, the Trump team is desperately trying to figure out how they can frame this as a victory.