New Years Health Kicks Obviously Starting To Fizzle Out
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As parks, pubs and restaurants around the country fill out on a glorious Friday afternoon, a
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Foreign Minister Says Of Course We Support Israel And America Bombing Iran, Before Turning Her Attention Back To Australians Falling Off Scooters In Bali
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Foreign Minister Penny Wong has insisted the government is very clear in its support for Israel
Without Green Day On The Radio, Americans Blindly Support President Trump’s Decision To Go To War
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As President Trump enters war with Iran, it appears that America is lacking a counter-culture. In
Israel Insists Iran Will Have Nuclear Weapons Any Decade Now
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation of Israel has today moved to assure the rest of the global community that
Iraq Announces Invasion Of US To Protect America’s Freedom From Totalitarian Regime
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The West Asian country of Iraq has today dropped a bombshell on the international community. Iraq’
RETRACTION: A Sincere Apology To The Pangolin Community
The Betoota Advocate Editorial Board We would like to issue an unreserved apology to the global pangolin community and to
Trump And Zelensky Settle Differences With A Tense Game Of Slaps
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Trump and Zelensky have decided to put aside their differences and hinge the future of Ukraine
“Yes, Absolutely”: Riccardo Confirms Helmet Switch With Piastri Is Reason Why He’s Leading Championship
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Daniel Ricciardo has confirmed he believes a helmet swap with Oscar Piastri is the key reason
Australia Moves To Ban Maple Syrup Because Fuck You Too Canada
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Albanese Government has today announced a ban on the importation of Canadian maple syrup, citing
Elon Musk Brutally Trolled During Gaming Livestream After Repeatedly Slipping Over His Own Banana Peels
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Tech billionaire/ Space Karen Elon Musk has faced scrutiny from the gaming community again today, just
Norfolk Island’s Economy Reeling After Trump Slaps A 29% Tariff On Deb’s Famous Carrot Cake
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The proud external territory of Norfolk Island is today facing an uncertain future, after US President
PM Clarifies Australia Doesn’t Import American Beef Because It Sucks And It’s Full Of Germs
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has shut down any talk of Australia importing American beef, citing two
Bloke From South Auckland Talks About His Hometown Like It’s As Dangerous As Somalia’s No-Fly Zone
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT South Auckland may just be the most dangerous place on planet earth. That’s according to