Couple Whose Primary Form Of Communication Is Snapchat Might Not Be Built To Last
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT A young Betoota Heights couple still relying on Snapchat to communicate clearly aren't in
World News
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iPhone 12 Turns Out To Be The Shiniest And Expensivest Rectangle Yet
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Apple, manufacturers of shiny expensive rectangles, are about to release the iPhone 12 on Friday,
New Zealand Start Making Their Community Hall COVID Safe Ahead Of Weekend’s Election
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Our neighbours across the ditch have started getting ready for their big election day coming up.
Ronaldo’s Habit Of Diving On Floor After Slightest Contact Preventing Nurses From Treating Him
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Portuguese footballing superstar Cristiano Ronaldo is causing a bit of a scene, it can be confirmed
Whales Urged To Download GPS Map Updates
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Cetacean experts have called on all migrating whales to download the latest GPS map updates
Biden Quietly Inquires About Dr Stone Cold’s Availability In Event Trump Goes Back Into Hospital
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT US Presidential hopeful Joe Biden has revealed a bold election campaign ploy today. The Democratic Leader
Trump Supporters Pray Their President Only Has A Mild Case Of The Virus They Don’t Believe In
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The militant supporters of Donald Trump have taken his advice today and are refusing to let
Broke Senior Citizen Gets His Own Hospital Bed As America Begins Trialling Free Healthcare
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The United States Government has today shocked its citizens by announcing it has begun trialling free
Fears Grow For Trump’s Ability To Overcome COVID-19 As An Obese, Elderly, Low-Income American
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT American news outlets have today released footage of President Donald Trump arriving at Walter Reed National
Trump Family Records More Cases Of Community Transmission Than Entire State Of Queensland
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the United States Of America, Donald and Melania Trump have officially
Fucking Lol
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT US President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump have tested positive for COVID-19. And that
Presidential Debate Gives Haunting Insight Into How Incompetent The 328 Million Others Must Be
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The first of the US Presidential debates has come and gone today, with 90ish minutes of
Furious Argument Outside Local Hellenic Cafe Somehow More Civilised Than Presidential Debate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The elderly post-war migrants currently berating each other outside the Hellenic Cafe in Betoota’s Flight