Mayor Of Townsville May Or May Not Have Flogged Some Cunt At A Pub On Magnetic Island But Just Leave It
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT There are murmurs coming out of the North this week about an alleged brouhaha that might
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“I’m A Bit Rusty” Says Guitarist About To Break Into Either Time Of Our Lives Or Wonderwall
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Guests at a local house party this evening are being subjected to an unsolicited performance from
Local Raving Inner-City Lunatic Asks An Invisible Sky Man To Stop The Bush Fires
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An inner-city lunatic has taken time out of his busy schedule to ask an invisible man
Woman Recycling Multiple Phones In Office Bin Assures Colleagues She’s Not A Drug Dealer
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young office woman named Jess Hudson has had to do a bit of explaining today.
Selleys To Release New XR Adhesive
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT To cater to the growing number of Extinction Rebellion (XR) activists sticking themselves to stuff, Selleys
ScoMo To Visit Port Macquarie As Soon As He Hears Full Time Whistle At State Futsal Final
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has moved to assure the people of NSW that he’ll be
Plan To Make Maths Compulsory In Years 11 And 12 Is Bullshit Say 107% Of Students
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A government plan to make Mathematics compulsory for Year 11 and 12 students has been slammed
Margaret Court Just Jealous Rod Laver’s Arena Gets All The Good Acts Like Elton John
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The root cause of the Margaret Court controversy over the past week has been uncovered this
Review Of ALP Election Result Finds Labor Lost Because Not Enough People Voted For Them
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Labor’s federal election review has identified one major cause for the party’s shock loss
Unoriginal Town Comes Up With Some Tote Bags Featuring Town’s Name Amongst List Of Big Cities
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A medium-sized regional centre on the fringe of the Simpson Desert has come up with the
Tourist Saddened By Uluru Closure Forced To Climb Mount Druitt Instead
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A breeding pair of Betoota Heights residents were saddened they missed the deadline to climb Uluru
Report: Mum’s Already Bought Christmas Crackers?
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The family of local mother Carol Thompson (57) state they are beginning to worry about the
NSW Police Minister Pulls Out A Wobble Board For Press Conference About Random Strip-Searches
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NSW Police Minister David Elliott has claimed he “would want” his own underage sons strip-searched if