Budget Winner? Loser? Just Shut Up And Have A Beer
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It is Friday afternoon and I have been asked to explain the budget and I am
The Nation
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Scotty From Marketing Arrives At Scene Of Victorian Bushfires Wearing 10 Different AFL Scarves
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The hazardous air quality alerts for Melbourne and surrounds will be in place until at least
Excited Toorak Mum Finally Gets To Use High Beams On The Range Rover
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The five-million people living in Melbourne have been met with chaos and respiration issues as smoke
Plastic Anti-Glassing Masks Replace Smoke Masks As Lockouts Roll Back In Sydney
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The controversial lock-out laws in Sydney are being rolled back this evening to mild, abridged fanfare.
Albo Unfortunately Unable To Help Young Man Struggling To Tie A Tie Before Job Interview
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Opposition leader Anthony Albanese pursed his lips and shrugged helplessly at a young man this afternoon
PM: Privatisation Of ABC On Hold Until Rural Areas No Longer Needs Crucial Bushfire Updates
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today continued in his ‘herculean’ effort to provide the Federal
Government Promises Widespread Rain This Weekend Will Return Everything Back To Normal
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Big-Fella-In-Chief down in Canberra has broken his uncharacteristic silence this morning to promise everything will
Latest Newspoll Results Suggest Not Just Nelligen Telling Prime Minister To Go And Get Fucked
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The first Newspoll survey results of 2020 have found that it’s not just the fire-ravaged
“Well Fuck Youse Then” Says Mate Who Got Roasted Until Breaking Point
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A local man has today indicated that he no longer believes that the banter is coming
Casual Teacher Refuses To Be Lectured On Droughts As Long Summer Sees Bank Account Evaporate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There’s a solid maternity leave waiting for him come February but for one local casual
A Couple Dozen Drug-Addicted Ferals Cause Scenes In Nation’s Capitals, Reports Murdoch Papers
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A couple dozen drug-addicted low-income waste-of-oxygen junkie cockroaches caused incredibly inconvenient roadblocks in CBDs around the
Coastal Town Busy Enough To Not Have To Bother Being Polite To Tourists
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Locals of coastal town Glumbucket Heads (Betoota’s closest coastal getaway as the crow flies) are
Doritos Sales Fall By 42.0% Following Destruction Of Nimbin Hinterland By 2019 Bushfires
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Sales of Doritos have plummeted in the wake of the disastrous fires that swept through the