I Mean, We Could've Just Taxed Gas
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Federal Treasurer Jim Chalmers has handed down the Albanese government's fifth and most ambitious
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PM Decides To Escalate Things With China By Fronting Media Wearing Mack Horton’s Gold Medal
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Scott Morrison has raised a few eyebrows this morning and taken the spat with China to
Ruby Princess Inquiry Finds Ship Had Threatened To Pull A ‘Speed 2’ If They Couldn’t Disembark
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Ruby Princess special inquiry has heard that the situation on sister ship Diamond Princess – quarantined
Man Just Popping Over To Mate’s Place To Check On Him With Carton Of Piss And Two Fresh Decks
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact State governments around the nation are beginning the arduous process of untangling the lockdown mess this
Erratic Isolation Mood Swing Brought Under Control With The Sweet Endorphin Release Of Gossip
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | CONTACT Betoota Grove woman, Bindi Hansen (32) was at breaking point earlier today, after yet another
Girl Who Was Planning On Doing NYC This Year Settles For Adelaide
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact “If you squint hard enough, the River Torrens looks like the Hudson,” she said. Sam Holland
Mature Aged Student Finally Figures Out How To Get Into Online Classes At Five Week Mark
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Grahame Wood has finally broken through today. After 5 weeks of being unable to share personal
McDonald’s Soft Serve Machine Not Working “Due To Coronavirus”
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A common problem has been given a contemporary twist with news that McDonald’s Soft Serve
Nation’s Yuppies Given Green Light To Begin Gentrifying Mullumbimby After This 5G Bullshit
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Byron Shire has given yuppies all over the country the green light to move into
Northern Beaches Swingers Begin Exciting Process Of Picking Favourite Couple For Dinner Party
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As of Friday, New South Wales couples who do not live together will be able to
Bunnings Employee Directs Yet Another Dishevelled-Looking Man To The Gardening Section
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Greg Costigan has told our reporters today that he’s put his right hand up, said
NSW Premier Convinces Medical Experts To Loosen Restrictions With ‘More Of A Gatho’ Rule
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the southern state of New South Wales breathes a sigh of relief ahead of the
Kevin Rudd Warns Against Upsetting Chi.. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah I’m A Fucken Nerd Blah Blah
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has tried to tell us what to think of China again