Local Bloke Acknowledges The Wintry Change In Seasons Like A Grown Up
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A bitter cold front has come through and Australians south and west of Brisbane are feeling
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Only Mate In The Group Who Reads The News Tasked With Explaining The Importance Of Ohio
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The smartest man in a local group chat has had dozens of questions fired his way
“Seems The Polls Might Have Been Wrong” Says ABC Panelists For 204th Election In A Row
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The ABC panelists covering the US Presidential Election are today rattled by the unprecedented result in
Putin Hosts Election Party At Kremlin Complete With Revolting American Food And Beer
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Russian President and self-confessed US political junkie Vladamir Putin is hosting an election party at his
“Who Gives A Fuck About America!” Says Australian Bloke Still Young Enough To Be Conscripted
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A 28-year-old Australian bloke has today dismissed the seriousness of the 2020 Presidential Election, by declaring
Pop Of Champagne Cork Results In Automatic Wooing From Nearby Females
INGRID DOULTON | Fashion | CONTACT A recent report by the Victorian Racing Board has found that people are unable to be
Herald Sun Reports That ‘Anthony Van Dyck’ Was Tripped By Kevin Rudd Before Being Euthanised
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a year of reprieve from the tragedy of trackside euthanasia in The Race That Stops
Scotty Addresses National Desire For Federal ICAC By Saying He Had $25 On Twilight Payment
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister today has acknowledged that almost four in five Australians want a federal-level corruption
ScoMo Accidentally Puts His Melbourne Cup Money Into The Smokes Machine
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT “Fuck!” Those were the words coming out of Scott Morrison’s mouth after he left a
Former Jockey Of Black Caviar Unfortunately Put Down After Tragic Fall In Race One
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Jockey Luke Nolen has met the end of his career behind the plastic tarp today. The
Owner Of Puppy-Farmed Labrador Living In One Bedroom Inner-City Apartment Says Nup To The Cup
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Brunswick woman has today made sure to let all of the people in her echo-chamber
Girlfriends Of Hot Mess Gladys Grow Concerned About Pace She’s Setting At Champagne Breakfast
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Pubs and offices around the country are all set for the 2020 Melbourne Cup at Flemington
Melburnians Get Yet Another Public Holiday After Having 112-Days Off Straight
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The wins keep on rolling for the people of Melbourne today as they enjoy yet another