"Fuck It, Guess We're Voting Teal" Says Liberal Party's Last Remaining Female Voters Under 80
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Finally! The limp-wristed Liberal moderates who lost the election for Peter Dutton have been defeated. Federal
The Nation
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Poms Carrying On Like The Revolution Is Here After Electing Inoffensive Centrist Lawyer
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The revolution has finally arrived in the United Kingdom. After decades of being killed by a
Local Girl’s Gorgeous But Dull Rebound Not Offering Much In The Saturday Quiz
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT A local girl’s new fling has struggled to make a decent impression this
Wimbledon Offers Perfect Opportunity To Post 2019 Pimms And Strawberries Pic For 4th Time
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local woman is today micro-dosing on dopamine to get herself through the day. Bethany Williams
Saxophone Tutor Regales Story About Glory Days Where He Provided Soundtracks For 1980s Sex Scenes
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local saxophone tutor is making headlines for his nostalgia for a bygone era when he
Senator Fatima Payman Quits Labor To Join Australia’s Only Truly Multicultural Party
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Labor’s Fatima Payman is expected to confirm this afternoon that she is leaving the party,
Disgustingly Unkempt Suzuki Swift Obviously Belongs To A Really, Really Hot Chick
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A disgusting Suzuki Swift spotted in a Betoota Ponds car park most definitely belongs to a
Local Girl Faces Financial Ruin After Taking Big Unit Boyfriend Out To Sushi Train
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local woman is today desperately trying to figure out how she is going to make
Woman Constantly Uploading Vague Inspirational Quotes To Instagram Story Definitely The Problem
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Betoota Heights woman Nina Hynes has today raised some eyebrows, after posting a cryptic inspirational quote
Coal Power Plant Groans Under The Strain Of Man’s Extremely Inefficient Space Heater On Full Blast
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Betoota Heights resident Daniel Thompson has unwittingly pushed the Henning-Remienko Power Station to its limits by
Experts Say Housing Crisis Could Be Solved Instantly With A Return Of The Glorious Blonde Brick
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia’s catastrophic housing and rental crisis has officially rendered Australia’s three largest cities completely
Australian Women’s Fashion Retailers Refuse To Give Up On The Fucken Bubble Skirt
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Australian fashion retailers have been urged to please, PLEASE stop trying to bring back the awful
Local Woman Gets Test Run Of Motherhood By Dating An Irishman
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman who has been on the fence about whether or not she wants children has