Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way
The Nation
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Australian Journo Demoted To MAFS Recaps After Trying To Investigate Dutton’s Dodgy GFC Share Trading
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT News rooms right around the country are today desperately trying to find out whether or not
Supermarket Egg Shortage Linked To Major Spike Of Roid Rage Incidents In Nation’s Big Lifting Gyms
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Steroid use has skyrocketed nationwide as Australia feels the brunt of the egg shortage crisis, with
World Sighs In Relief As Germany Elects A Normal Politician Who Doesn’t Think He’s A Strongman
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The world breathed a collective sigh of relief as Europe’s largest economy upheld its 80-year
Honest Cop Bought Shares In The Big 4 Banks The Day Before The Government’s GFC Bail Out Was Announced
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A honest Queensland cop is today preparing to face approximately one question from the media, about
Mix Of Jealousy And Pride Washes Over Local Father As Son Watches ‘Cool Runnings’ For The First Time
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A wave of pensive nostalgia, pangs of pride, and profound envy has washed over a local
Pope Francis’ Doctors Order Him Off The Watermelon Strawberry Ice Vapes
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The head of the Catholic Church has sent shockwaves across the globe this week, after the
Coalition Accidentally Announce They Will Also Support Labor’s Policy Of Not Hiding Your $300m Net Wealth In A Blind Trust
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Coalition has spent the past four weeks throwing their support behind some of Labor’s
“The Teals Have No Power” Says Angry Man Who’d Prefer 7 Toothless Liberals Sitting On The Back Bench
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Australian media work side by side to rebrand Peter Dutton as the Modern Day
Vatican Quickly Running Out Of Pleasant, Unalarming Adjectives To Describe How Pope Spent The Night
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Pope spent a ‘tranquil’ evening last night according to The Vatican, which was after a
Report: Pokies Just Dancing Fruits For The Elderly
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what many suspected: Pokie machines, often viewed as a plague
Boomers Rush To See Ningaloo Reef Before Their Generation Destroys It
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A pair of sexagenarians have today ticked a big item off their bucket list – potentially in
Pop’s Ears Prick Up After Hearing About An Ice Cream That Also Has Custard
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local grandfather of 9 has today heard some welcome good news. In a climate filled