Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way
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Trump Crosses The Line After Posting AI Video Showing Him As A Giant Gold Statue Out The Front Of Suncorp
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The President of The United States has finally done what many thought was impossible. This afternoon
Chinese Warships Return To The Tasman, Wait Patiently For Albo To Go Swimming Off Portsea
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Our biggest trading partner has today made quite a splash in the Tasman Sea. China has
England Lose A Game Of Cricket In A Dignified Manner Without Blaming Anyone Else
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Less than 2 months in to 2025, the world has been treated to the most shocking
Drake Cancels Remaining Australian Shows; Promises Return During Schoolies
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Canadian rapper and noted enjoyer of large gatherings of young adults, Drake, has officially cancelled the
Report Finds Blokes Who Wear This Are 87% More Likely To Apologise By Saying ‘I’m Sorry You Feel That Way’
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact An in-depth study of dating trends has confirmed what many women have suspected – that Dior Sauvage
“Millennials Are So Cringe” Says Gen Z Whose Entire Wardrobe Is A Knockoff Of Early 2000s Fashion
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman who was born post Shrek has had the audacity to talk shit about millennials
Anthony Green To Retire From ABC After Finally Perfecting His Horse Racing Algorithm
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The face of political number crunching and analysis has finally done it. Antony Green, the Chief
Spoilt Rich Arseholes That Block Every New Transport Infrastructure Project Sook Over How Fucked The Transport Is
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The rat-like people of Sydney that occupy the north eastern portion of that open-air sewer are
Bob Katter Says He’d Like To Make A Few Points About Medicare Reform Because Look It’s Obviously Very Bloody Important That We Make Sure Australia’s Health System Doesn’t End Up Being Privatised Like Those Shiraz Swilling Bastards Did To Qantas And Commba
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As both the major parties begin making their pre-election commitments to Medicare reform, The Independent Member for Kennedy has also thrown in his two cents. See Bob Katter’s brief but insightful comments in the headline above.
North Melbourne Kangaroos Supporter Has The Hide To Criticise The Matilda’s Consistency
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The North Melbourne Football Club has once again been disgraced on the national stage. With the
So Here’s Margot Robbie In A Bubble Bath To Explain How Dodgy It Is That Peter Dutton Bought Shares In Three Major Banks The Day Before The Australian Government Gave Them A $120 Billion GFC Bail Out
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The most unreported breaking news story in Australia, easily explained by Hollywood actress Margot Robbie in
Melbourne Man Dressed Head To Toe In Carhartt Sadly Not Capable Of Doing Any Carhartt Shit
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT A Melbourne man has today been forced to confront the harsh reality that, despite his