Wests Tigers Fan Relieved He Hasn’t Had A Mental Breakdown That Caused Six Weeks Of Delusions
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Tigers fan has been relieved to discover that he is still living in reality and
Local News
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“This Area Is Up-and-Coming,” Says Real Estate Agent Describing The Uprooting Of Families In Public Housing
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT In a bold display of enthusiasm that could only be described as “peak real estate,” local
Woman’s ‘No Makeup Look’ Involves More Products Than Her Actual Makeup Look
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT Local woman Sophie Patel has left her friends questioning their own skincare and makeup routines after
$36 Bunch Of Market Flowers Temporarily Eases Tensions Over Last Night’s Blow Out
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact A quick-thinking boyfriend has successfully pacified an unimpressed girlfriend this morning with an impromptu
Micro-Influencer Scours Bookstore For Provocative Book Cover With Instagram Potential
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact One of Betoota’s most unfollowed micro-influencers has been spotted out shopping today, looking
December’s Pay Check Already Starting To Stretch
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact A local party girl is putting herself on a two-minute noodle diet this week
“Wicked Went For Too Long” Whinges Boyfriend, While Watching Cricket Match That Lasts 2 Months
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact A stupid dumb boyfriend who doesn’t appreciate the talents of Cynthia Erivo has
Local Bloke Knows He’s Pissed When He Starts Using One Eye To Craft A Text Message
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A Betoota Heights bloke has today reached the ‘no going back’ zone at his work Christmas
Chalmers Resigns After Losing Entire Future Fund On Hawk Tuah Meme Coin
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Treasurer Jim Chalmers has spectacularly resigned this today after losing the entire Future Fund on the
Gay Friends Enter “Late Night Music Video Viewing” Phase Of The Evening
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT In what has become a time-honoured tradition, local friends Nick, John, and Shani found themselves deep
Meteorologists Confirm That Regardless Of Weather Conditions, The First Saturday Of Summer Is An Absolute Day For It
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local expert from Betoota’s Bureau Of Meteorology has today reiterated the fact that the
Old Workmate Kidding Themselves If They Think You’ll Be Catching Up Before Christmas
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact A local bloke has executed some exceptional forward defense today as he casually blocks
Local Cafe Turns $4 Coffee Into $8.50 “Iced Latte” With Magic Handful of Ice Cubes
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact A snotty cafe in the French Quarter has put on a spectacular magic show