Local Man Goes Straight From Footy To Pub After A Quick Shower In A Can
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A time poor local man has squeezed the maximum amount of juice out of his Saturday
Local News
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“Forgive Me, Father, For I Have Sinned” Says Dad Dosing Toddler With Panadol Before Daycare
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local father sought absolution yesterday morning after committing what he describes as a
Property Investors Prepare Their Snouts For Impending Interest Rate Cut
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation’s aspirational class have been four years in the financial doldrums as
Kid Named Thor Unfortunately Grows Up To Be A Massive Dweeb
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Betoota Heights bloke has this week urged people to please reconsider naming their children after
Local Bloke Tells Girlfriend That She Really Should Have Clarified What She Meant By Roleplaying
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Betoota Heights couple have this week discovered that they both have a very different definition
“It’s Jam-Bon, With a Hard J,” Insists Queenslander Recently Returned from Spain
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local man has returned from a taxpayer-funded shipbuilding junket to Spain with
AusPost Announces Last Outstanding Christmas Parcel Has Finally Been Delivered
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In national logistics news, AusPost have confirmed that every Christmas package and letter to
“I Don’t Give A Shit About The Trains, I Need You In The Office Today” Says Boss Who Drove His New BMW In
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A city worker has this morning received a firm directive from his boss, who
Valentine’s Day Falling On Saturday Guarantees The Single Girlies Are Getting Fucken Pixelated Tonight
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact In an occurrence as rare as Halley’s Comet, a female friendship group have all found
Local P-Plater Instinctively Revs Engine Near Group of Babes, Forgets He’s Driving Mum’s Corolla
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT In an embarrassing display of primal male instinct, Betoota Heights teen Kyle Sharp (17) set out
Accountant Mate Drafts Up A Spreadsheet To Prove Set Menu Banquet Isn’t Great Value
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local bloke has put his passion for spreadsheets to good use this evening,
Girl Who Bought Cowboy Boots For Luke Combs Holds Onto Them In Case Queen B Throws In Some Australian Dates
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local concrete cowgirl is rearranging her wardrobe this afternoon as she desperately attempts
Nation’s Career-Devoted Single Women And Ungentlemanly Incels Join Together To Say Today Is Bullshit
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Two of society’s most vocal but otherwise unassociated factions have come together today