New Zealand Collectively Comes To Their Senses And Returns Home
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT 5,357,300 Kiwis have collectively shaken themselves out of a years long haze this week.
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
5,357,300 Kiwis have collectively shaken themselves out of a years long haze this week.
After another disappointing end to the NRL season, the population of New Zealand has jointly remembered that they should probably go back to rooting for their biggest cultural export and the most successful national sporting team of all time.
“Fuck, that's right, we aren't even meant to take this that seriously” said one Wellington man, quietly taking down a Warriors flag from his balcony.
“I don't know what came over me.”
The nationwide awakening reportedly began shortly after the final siren, as thousands of New Zealanders suddenly remembered they have a Bledisloe cup to win.
Within hours, Warriors jerseys had been folded away, rugby league podcasts unsubscribed from and several million people had resumed their usual activities.
Sports bars across the country have already begun replacing Warriors merch with grainy photos of Richie McCaw lifting trophies.
Government officials have reassured citizens that the brief experiment with rugby league should not have any lasting effects.
“It happens every couple of years” said one spokesperson.
“They start believing in the Wahs, everyone gets carried away, and then reality gently escorts them back to our spiritual home.”