Melbourne Residents Look Forward To Public Holiday That Really Has Nothing To Do With Melbourne At All
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne's residents are rubbing their hands in glee ahead of this weekend's
Local News
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Local Woman Really Happy They Stopped Putting Syringes Of Cheese In Trendy Burgers
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local woman has just been reminded how grateful she is that we are out of
Teen That’s Spent Countless Hours On Minecraft Not Interested In Picking Up Shovel In Real Life
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact 13 year old Minecraft enthusiast Nathan Hargreaves has once again refused to participate in any real-
Degenerate Boyfriend Uses Girlfriend’s Expensive Shampoo As Body Wash
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local man, Charlie Belmont arrives at work each morning smelling like coconut and murumuru butters – and
Woman Reading Spicy Novel Too Horrified By Description Of Love Interest’s Anatomy To Find It Arousing
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman reading one of her naughty novels has yet again herself more repulsed than aroused,
Local Man Craves A Shower Head As Powerful As The Ones Outside The Lifesaving Club
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT A local surfie has today departed the beach feeling a mixture of envy and resentment after
Households Who Have Their Toilet Paper Delivered Far More Likely To Volunteer For The Greens
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The ABS has today confirmed a direct correlation between households that have their toilet paper delivered
Radicalisation Complete: City Woman Calls Cousin A “Woke Leftie” After Weekend At Folks Place Watching Sky News
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact Sophie Heffernan (34) has returned from what was meant to be a relaxing stay with her
Woman’s Phone Refuses To Tap On Bus After Sensing There's A Long Line Of People Waiting Behind Her
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local woman is beginning to suspect her phone is out to get her, as she
Woman With Tight-Arse Parents Both Grateful And Resentful Of Their Sudden Generosity Toward The Grandkids
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman who grew up with extremely tight arse parents is unsure if she should be
Boomer Outraged By Barista’s Milk Question For Some Reason
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A collectively loathed local Baby Boomer is absolutely beside himself once again after a barista asked
Genius Bar Person Tries To Hide Their Disgust At State Of Customer’s AirPods
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact Seeing bodily fluids comes with the territory if you’re a medical doctor, but as a
‘Thought Leader’ On LinkedIn Forgets To Australianise All The American Words ChatGPT Uses
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact Chris Manning, a senior strategist at one of Betoota’s more traditional advertising agencies, KHJM/WP,