Melbourne Residents Look Forward To Public Holiday That Really Has Nothing To Do With Melbourne At All
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne's residents are rubbing their hands in glee ahead of this weekend's
Local News
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Woman Wonders Why She Doesn't Get This At Home After Overhearing Her Husband Say Something Interesting
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An afternoon barbecue in the town's young family belt of Betoota Heights has today
Escalating Tensions In Middle East Causes Local Dad To Tell Daughters To Go Fill Up A Tank Right Now!
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local dad has today let his dad instincts take over. Graham Poulter (63) from our
Suburban Weed Dealer Torn Between Spending Profits On A Vintage Samurai Sword Or 190-Litre Fish Tank
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT There's simply no point in living a life of low-level crime, risking up
Selfish Airline Passenger Risks 170 Innocent Lives By Failing To Put Aeroplane Mode On Before Take Off
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has this weekend taken a plane load of lives into his own hands.
Bloke Shopping For First TV In 10 Years Not Even Going To Bother Asking What The Fuck OLED Means
KEITH T. DENNET | New South | CONTACT Lumbering around the West Betoota homemakers centre this morning, Corey Hughes is having fun
Boyfriend Spends Entire Screening Of Wuthering Heights Fantasising About Lifting Elordi In A Line Out
KEITH T. DENNET | New South | CONTACT It’s a big week for blockbuster films in Betoota, as thousands of local
Local Man Hungover Enough For Screen Time Minutes To Exceed Daily Step Count
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Apple Health have confirmed a rare statistical crossover after a local hung over man’s daily
Climbing Gym To Introduce Speed Dating Wall
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT A climbing gym in the French Quarter has decided to cut out the middle man and
"Why, God?" Asks Aging Christian After Being Met With Electric Guitars At The 10AM Service
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A longtime churchgoer from Betoota Heights asked the Big Man why he does the
Bloke Now Sympathising With Wife's Single Friends After Getting A Good Look At The Dating Pool
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights man has this week confirmed to The Betoota Advocate that his eyes have
Girlfriend’s Day-To-Day Diet And Exercise Regime Would Equate To A Generational Lock-In For Local Man
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local man has surprised himself this year by maintaining his New Year's health
Property Investor Political Journos Slam CGT Changes As A Cruel Attack On Aussie Battlers
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With the media cycle continuing to oscillate between the ISIS brides and the nation's