Club Playmaker Cops A Spray For Skipping Weekend Footy To Propose To His Girlfriend
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT One of Betoota’s most exciting young halfbacks is expected to be sanctioned this
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Local Man Finds Perfect Hill To Die On
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Betoota Heights man has revealed that he’s finally found the hill he’s willing
Gentrifying Neighbourhood Easily Identified With Increase Of Poodle Mixes
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact In some amusing but unsurprising news, it’s revealed that the emergence of poodle mixes has
Ugly New Apartment Tower Makes It Up To Locals With Medium Tier Fast Food Chains On Street Level
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In a groundbreaking never before seen move to compensate for its aesthetically challenged appearance, the newly
Soon To Be Automated Copywriter Commits To Existential Crisis And Adds ‘Proficient In ChatGPT’ On Resume
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT User849: Write me a article about how my job as a copywriter is going to
Report: Girl Math Nowhere Near As Reckless As Boy Math
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT BOY MATH: After months of exhaustive research, evidence recovered by Betoota is shedding a light
Local Woman With Flat Phone On The Train Begins Reminiscing About That Free Stalker Newspaper
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A rapidly ageing millennial has found herself reminiscing about her university days this morning, after finding
Bloke Who Ran Out Of Shot Glasses For The Boys Reckons Random Plastic Thing In Dishwasher Will Do
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Betoota Heights bloke not educated on the modern forms of period care has unknowingly given
Local Woman Hoping 14th Saved Overnight Oats TikTok Recipe Is The One
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local woman has refused to admit she’lll never be the early rising, health conscious
Bloke Hogging Council EV Charger Comforted By Fact That Fellow EV Drivers Not Capable Of Confrontation
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A blatant example of roadside selfishness has gone unpunished today, as a Betoota Grove-based EV driver
Mate Who Works From Home Reckons He’s Got An Early Start Tomorrow
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The absolute nerve of this cunt has been observed in the quiet suburbs of Betoota as
Cost-Of-Living Crisis: Cocaine Now So Expensive That Influencers Are Resorting To Paying For It
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Young people are feeling another economic blow as cocaine is now so expensive that local and
Local Bloke Realises He Must Be Getting Old After Favourite Musician Gets Booked At The RSL
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Betoota Ponds bloke has had a rather cruel taste of mortality this week, having experienced