Suburban Mega Pub Has Definitely Never Served A Beer To Anyone As Hot As The AI Chick In The Flyer

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

With a playground for the sugar-high kids and 800 exciting poker machines, The Elephant's Gunt Hotel is an institution of Betoota's sprawling outer suburbs.

Known colloquially as the The Dumbo, this iconic mega pub is the go-to for kids birthday parties, wedding anniversaries, Christmas drinks, 18ths, 21sts, 60ths, 70ths, 80ths and so on.

It's also hosted plenty of break-ups, punch-ons, marriage proposals and State Of Origin deciders.

From the sports bar, to the billiards room, to the gaming floor, to the bistro and the live music lounge - The Dumbo is where life unfolds.

Not only is it a reliable place for a good feed or an explosive bout of problem gambling - but it's also where a lot of the local young people find love.

With not much to do in Betoota Heights but join the local Hillsong Church or joyride in a stolen boomer's Prado - the dance floor at the Dumbo provides a welcome outlet for sexed up bumping and grinding after the kitchen closes and the DJ plays some Veronicas.

But while this joint may be responsible for countless unplanned pregnancies, it is absolutely fair to say that their patrons have well-managed expectations when it comes to finding a suitor.

With an aspirational local population made up of town's upper working class, plus a few middle class Kiwi and Indian families, it's safe to say that majority of this pub's monocultural customer base are not in very good nick.

It maybe be a great place to pull a root, but it's not like Miranda Kerr or Jacob Elordi are gonna suddenly walk into the joint.

Which is why there seems to be disconnect between the venue's regulars, and the strangely beautiful women that have been created by artificial intelligence and used in the Dumbo's promotional material.

"Nobody that hot has ever been served a beer at the Dumbo" says local Bistro manager, Sherilee Major (43).

"Even with those slight AI deformities, she's way out of our league"

However, Glenn (53), the head of marketing for the Elephant's Gunt, says there's plenty of Colombian sheilahs now working at the nearby B2TA Data Centre.

"This place has changed a lot since covid. It's very cosmopolitan nowadays. There's plenty of women with a bit of shape coming through for the Thursday specials"

"That's why we bunged a Mexican parmy on the menu"