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Currently, the only contact sport being played (or if you live in Queensland, The Only Sport) is NRL but that’s not the only reason players are cheering.

Relaxed COVID-19 restrictions allow gatherings of up to ten, meaning NRL players can finally recommence their sex lives as normal.

“Be they single or taken, this is a welcome announcement for all players,” stated NRL CEO Andrew Abdo.

“We are not sure why they like to do it in such large groups. Perhaps it is the comradery of participating in a team sport or maybe just a general disregard for functional relationships?”

“For some, they might be just trying to line up a potential career in porn after footy. The blokes swingin low are definitely thinking about”

When asked if he believed that NRL group sex had continued during restrictions Abdo denied such behaviour stating at the very least it had not been filmed.

“We thank the government for this decision and look forward to relaxed legislation on violent assaults in Bali.”

MORE TO COME.

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