Softcock English Mate Finally Gets A Semi

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

After half a century of cruel and tortuous World Cup collapses, the Poms are finally feeling confident enough to start celebrating their wins without fear of superstition.

While they are not yet feeling themselves enough to launch into ‘it’s coming home’ - they are indeed edging towards it.

The one song that is currently being belted out by tens of million Englishmen and women is the iconic 1968 Britpop ballad ‘Hey Jude’ by The Beatles.

This is of course in tribute to Jude Bellingham, whose courageous two goals made the difference against Norway in today’s sudden death match.

England are into the World Cup finals with a 2–1 win after extra time!

The English defied the momentum of a Norwegian side who had become local  favourites amongst the American hosts - in their first World Cup this century.

This means the English are now free to drink and cheer and dance without fear of jinxing their beloved Three Lions.

Whatever happens from here is no longer up to the football gods, who have chosen not to intervene like they did in 1986.

Right around the world today, the British diaspora (who aren't Australian) are walking around with an extra spring in their step.

Including your soft cock Pommy mate from work who now has a bit more swagger and a puffed up chest after getting his first real semi.