Reformed 'Valley Rat' Uncle Says You're Not Old Enough To Hear Stories About 'The Family' Yet

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The current trend of Gen-Z Australians mythologising a pre-social media society is completely understandable, according to older Australians.

Because whatever they envision it to have been like on the streets of Kings Cross and Fortitude Valley in the 1990s and 2000s... Still could not be nearly as good as it really was.

That's what Uncle Doof says.

At a family barbecue in suburban Brisbane today, the younger nieces and nephews were regaled plenty of stories about how good it used to be.

Because it was so good. Before every cunt had a camera phone and drinks didn't cost half an hours wage.

The Brisbane car detailer - who went to jail for a couple in the late 2000s for something that Nanna still isn't quite able to explain - was there, man.

But he still won't tell his younger relatives about The Family. This is mostly because their parents also went to The Family - and it wouldn't be fair to them for the young ones to know what it was really like.

What he will say is, it was exactly like what you imagine the best nightclub to be like.

From caged dancers to decorative robots to DJ residencies that would make the nightclubs of Ibiza jealous, 'The Family' is widely regarded as the greatest dance music venue in Australian history.

And it was in the heart of Fortitude Valley. Opening its doors on 13th July 2001 - The Family remained the tent pole of Australia's nightclubbing scene for 16 years.

And if you weren't there, you could never know, says Uncle Doof.