Randwick Council Honestly Believes New Parking Meters Would Last Longer Than A Week In Maroubra

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There have been hilarious scenes in Sydney's South-Eastern beaches this week, as Randwick Council insist they are serious about installing parking meters on the last remaining public beaches in metropolitan New South Wales.

Both local residents and the young families who visit from suburbs that aren't lucky enough to have beaches are united in their opposition to this neoliberal tax on the working class.

However, the comically corrupt property developers who make up Randwick Council remain firm in their efforts to socially cleanse the economically diverse suburbs of Maroubra, Malabar and La Perouse - before absorbing these neighbourhoods into the wider Sydney Property Ponzi.

Locals have been taking to the streets and shopping centres with petitions to stop this sterilisation of their neighbourhoods, out of the very real fear that their hometown will suddenly be covered in chain fast food restaurants and those ugly curved balcony luxury apartment buildings with rat-infested vertical gardens.

This follows the manufactured consent of local residents who were mailed a low-effort survey with confusing questions that most people didn't bother sending back.

The council has vaguely insinuated that the money accrued from this shameless cash grab will help pay for the maintenance of the beaches, which are currently maintained pretty well off the back of land rates, which will definitely not be going down.

Either way, it doesn't really matter what the council ends up doing, because they will likely find themselves extremely out of pocket for deciding to greenlight this widely unpopular parking meter roll-out.

Because, like the last three times they tried to implement paid parking, the end result will be local youths and angry old surfers inevitably destroying these parking meters with cinder blocks, expanding foam, and chains attached to the tow bars of workutes with obscured license plates.

The council has said anyone who attempts to physically vandalise these digital cash cows will be charged with the full force of the law.

However, locals say they don't give a fuck and will gladly wear these charges as a badge of honour. That's if they get caught. Which they won't.