Piece Of Shit Dryer Continues Relentless Vendetta Against Local Man

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The universe's quest to conspire against Ben Talty has gone to another level this morning it can be confirmed.

Local building supplies rep Talty explained to The Advocate this morning that even the white goods in his life have it in for him.

This comes after he tried to kit up for lunch with a potential customer, and was shocked to find out that another one of his shirts had thrown in the towel.

"This fucking piece of fucking shit dryer," Talty was heard mumbling to himself while his better half shook her head and laughed.

"I know, I know, don't," said Talty, who is well aware that dryers can be known to shrink clothes.

"I thought this shirt was good to go last night and then I stumbled across what I think was month old kebab juice marinating on the front."

"So I had to wash it and dry it, and here we are," sighed Talty.

"And I don't have another clean shirt so I'm just rocking this piece of shit that keeps pulling out of my pants and leaving an annoying amount of my belly exposed."

When asked whether there might be other factors at play in regards to the Friday midriff, Talty told us to get fucked - which is fair enough.

More to come.