Openly-Homophobic Boomer's Weakness For A Bloke Dressed Up As A Woman On Display At Local Production Of Hairspray

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Houptoun Road Theatre Company's production of Hairspray has attracted a vast array of Betootans this week, from your most uptown Paddington End bowler to salt-of-the-earth homophobes like Bruce Taylor.

Dragged to the amateur show by his wife, in support of her friend's son who's in the actual production itself, the 72-year-old retired equine veterinarian admitted to The Advocate that he didn't expect to enjoy it but left with a few hearty chuckles giving his abs a workout.

"Nah, I'm not into this stuff but fuck me dead, I was howling with laughter at points. Nah, look, you can write down that I was pleasantly surprised," he said.

"Christ, I dunno what it is about it but I'm just weak for a bloke dressed up as a woman, acting like a woman. Like Dame Edna, there's nothing funnier."

One part Bruce referenced explicitly was during the tune Mama, I’m a Big Girl Now, where co-lead Edna Turnblad (played by The Advocate's cadet Wendell Hussey) belts out this soaring vibrato with arms outstretched, centre stage.

Bruce said he was doubled over laughing at the sight of it.

"You could see his fucking Adam's apple going up and down like a meth head's yo-yo," Bruce recalled, laughing hysterically.

"He's [Wendell] built like a brick shithouse as well. Shoulders you could park a cruise ship on, legs of a gladiator. Covered in hair. Fuck me, I simply cannot stop laughing at the thought of it. He's got HUGE quads on him. And all the while, he's wearing a short dress, you can see what colour Step Ones he's wearing underneath."

Fellow theatregoers recall seeing Bruce with tears rolling down his cheeks, clear snot dribbling down his front.

"It was really off-putting," they said.

"We know Bruce, he's said a lot of rather unsavoury things about the local queer community in the past. He voted 'no' on the plebiscite. I don't even know why he's here. I know Wendell, he said it was very difficult to keep going because he could hear this old creep screaming with laughter the whole way through the show. It's disappointing he wasn't removed and I think we're going to have to review-bomb this theatre company, unfortunately."

More to come.