NRL Fans Gather Like Medieval Peasants To Watch A Public Execution Of The Dragons

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

The clock tower bells of Brisbane are ringing this afternoon as the city prepares to gather for a vicious display of capital punishment.

The news comes as several town criers were spotted walking along Caxton Street this morning, waking up Brisbanites with the news that the Dragons are likely to get executed by a margin of more than 50 points at the hands of the Penrith Panthers.

“Gather round! Gather round! Here yee good people of Brisbane!” one was heard yelling from the balcony of the Lord Alfred Hotel.

“Leave thy chores unfinished and thy livestock unattended, all banana-fondlers are called to witness the execution of The Dragons at sunset…”

After a three day binge of Rugby League, it’s believed the general consensus from most Queenslanders and travelling NRL fans is that tonight’s 6:25pm finale will be one to be missed.

Yet, given the thirst of NRL fans is one that is rarely quenched, it’s expected a few footy sickos will still dawdle into Suncorp Stadium to watch Penrith put the Dragons to the sword, instead of going home to their families.

“Yeah, fck it, I’ll still go!” Toowoomba man Tate Miles told The Advocate, in between sticking his fingers into a $25 plate of beef brisket nachos from a food truck.

“I have a three day pass, might as well get my money’s worth. Even if the game resembles 80 minutes of touch footy, and the Dragons miss a few hundred tackles I’ll get to see Casey Mclean audition for Origin.”

More to come.