Non-Golfer On Bucks Party Politely Requests To Be Left To Drink And Smoke Darts In Peace

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A local bucks party reveller has today sat down for a chat with The Advocate about a stern conversation from his personal life.

Tom Cooper (32) from Betoota Plains explained to our humble regional newspaper today, that in the heat of battle on Saturday afternoon, he told one of his best mates to get fucked.

"Yeah, I wouldn't say I'm proud of it, but I definitely don't regret doing it," explained Cooper, who has only just recovered from a disgustingly large weekend down the Sunny Coast for 'Stevo's Buxs.'

The flashpoint in question came at approximately 11:32am, when the 3rd Phil (Stevo's best man) Group teed off on the 3rd hole.

Fresh off the back of 6 shanked shots in a row and 8 comically failed putts, Cooper apparently told his group that he was done for the day.

"Just let me enjoy this beautiful day in peace," said Cooper, who had emptied the entire lining of his stomach just a few short hours before.

"I fucking hate golf, I have no desire to be good at it, and I'm still battling."

"Please let me enjoy this 3rd beer, which is starting to go down alright, a couple of darts, and the magical apricity of the Sunshine Coast spring in peace."

Facing allegations of being a massive sook for refusing to play something he isn't immediately good at, Cooper said he'd happily drive the cart, spectate all shots and attempt the occasional drive off the tee - but he thought it was better for everyone involved if he just kept a bit arms length for the rest of the morning and arvo.

"And it worked a treat," explained Cooper today.

"Had a few beers, put a couple bets on, and chilled out."

However, that feeling was not necessarily shared by others.

"Fucking sook," laughed one of his mates.

"We were playing ambrose, shanking balls is a part of life. Grow up."