Nice Bottle Of Scotch For Fathers Day Confirms You Can Put A Price On Dad

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A local father of three has today dispelled a long held scientific theory that a father’s love cannot be quantified. 

Frank Milsom (64) has, in a somewhat roundabout way, confirmed that you can actually put a price on dad. 

This comes after his offspring turned up to Father’s Day with a nice little something something from Dans for the great man, marking the first time in recorded history the Milsom children have collectively nailed the assignment. 

Fresh off the back of a decade-long run of socks, undies, boring books he’s not gonna read and shitty power tools he already has better versions of (including a second angle grinder purchased in 2019) - Frank has finally received a Father’s Day gift worth writing home about. 

A nice, but not too over the top bottle of whisky. 

“Yeah, glad they finally got the hint this year,” laughed Frank, treating himself to an afternoon glass at 11am, because why not. 

“What do the Europeans call it?” 

“A digest teef? (sic),” said Frank, showing our reporter the bottle of Monkey Shoulder. 

“Apparently it’s a middle of the range one, which is nice to know they haven’t gone the bare minimum ya know.” 

“Good on em.” 

Frank’s eldest daughter Phoebe, who was in charge of the gifting process as per usual, said she’s glad this year’s gift landed with the old boy. 

“Turns out you can put a price on dad,” she laughed. 

“You certainly can put a price on wrangling my deadshit little brothers though.” 

“So I just went to Dan’s with Dale (her bf) and sorted it out, on my lunch break, in the car park, in under five minutes, and sent them the deats haha.” 

“Anyway, all’s well that ends well.” 

At time of publishing, Frank was three glasses deep and could still be heard practising his pronunciation of ‘digestif’ for the next time Barry brings it up. 

More to come.

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